The last two Sundays, at church, I've sung "I am free" and I feel like a big fat liar. I have the Power within me to be free yet I'm unwilling to exercise that Power. Why do we do that? We're told "fear not, for I Am with you" yet we continue to construct these elaborate fear fortresses that we, somehow, believe are protecting us.
We build walls around our heart to protect us from, what could be, God's abundance for our lives. Foolishly we believe that we have control over, and that we are better equipped to manage, our lives better than the One who granted us life in the first place. I'm tired of being afraid of His potential blessing. I'm tired of being afraid of exposing myself. I'm tired of sitting back and watching life pass me by because I'm unwilling to "Man Up". I'm tired of allowing fear of failure to roadblock God's intentions for my life.
I read a quote the other day from Bill Cosby. It said something to the affect of "decide that you want something more than you're afraid of it." Honestly, I don't know how to get to that place. I believe that placing my trust in the One who has all power and strength is the key, but I feel like I haven't found the door to unlock. I've allowed myself to stand behind my self made walls so long that I've forgotten what the free world looks like and how to navigate through it.
What is quite amusing to me is the fact that I'm willing to expose all of this to the faceless masses on the internet, yet to those who I find most important I'm unwilling. This is the twisted and warped mind in which I live. I want to be transformed by the renewing of my mind so that I can make the choice for freedom in my life.
Showing posts with label Anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Anxiety. Show all posts
Monday, September 21, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
Emotions, Depression, and Hope
A friend of mine raised an interesting question on facebook the other day. She had read an article that stated “Depression is often evidence of emotional surrender." and was curious if her friends agreed or disagreed and why or why not. My response was as follows.
Because of my personal, daily struggles with depression I don't know that I would say that it's surrender to emotions as much as it's a submission to self. Emotions are indicators of something. In the case of depression, for me, my emotions are a reaction to an inward focus on myself and my circumstances. I feel most free of my depression when I am focused on God and on others. I can be saddened by the plight of the oppressed but it doesn't become depression until I turn that focus to myself and make it about me and what I see as my inability to make a difference. Depression caused by anxiety may be a little different. In that case it may be an inability to surrender control which probably falls back into the case of submitting to the self. This isn't the case for everybody but I think that by and large it's a matter of being consumed with the self. Our fallen nature tends to lead us to be self focused.
Depression is a response that we might have to our emotions. God actually says quite a bit about emotions. You can ready a terrific article by Kenneth Ebert http://providencebf.blogspot.com/2008/11/developing-biblical-view-of-emotions.html My pastor as been speaking on the slaying the giants that we face in our lives; depression is certainly a giant that many of us face. It’s a daily struggle with getting caught up in our own feelings of insignificance, purposelessness, brokenness, inferiority, and emptiness among other things. It can also be anxiety related to finances, relationships (or there lack of), work (or there lack of), and any number of other challenges that we may make larger in our minds than they actually are.
More often the way we view these things is irrational. It’s the old story of “chicken little” who, while eating lunch, is knocked on the head by an acorn which leads the chicken to believe the sky is falling. The chicken sets off to tell the king of the impending doom and, on the journey, the chicken recruits other animals to join in on the journey of warning. So often, we who struggle with depression, do something similar in our minds. We see the worst case scenario and set off to convince our self that the world is coming to an end. The more we walk down that path the doom gets larger and larger. We talk our self into believing that the, perceived, problem is beyond hope. We feed our broken natures desire to focus on our self; to make us the center of the universe. As long as we focus on our self the bigger the giant becomes.
So how do we keep from getting dragged down that road? How do we recognize those burdens as a challenge but not allow it to consume us? I believe a change in focus must occur. Our eyes need to turn from our self and the things that burden us to something greater. For me, that which is greater is the creator God who formed me and created the universe and is in complete control at all times. The God who came to the earth, in human form, and told us “Come to me, you who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. He will give us rest from those irrational and self destructive thoughts if we are willing to surrender to Him and accept the peace that He gives freely; “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:7. That verse, alone, is a source of great peace. It’s a comfort to know that by lifting up, through prayer, our anxieties and sorrows to God, He will replace those things that consume us with the peace of God and will protect us from the mess that our hearts and minds can make for us.
Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14 “Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” I too say the same. I’ve not got it all together. I struggle daily with those things that consume me. I get wrapped up in the things from the past and the furture and by doing so I squelch the flame within me that is to shine His glory. As difficult as it is I do press on toward the goal and I surrender those past hurts and failings to Him. I submit my life to Him as an offering and surrender my future to His control. He is bringing me to a place, daily, where I am more free of those things that bind me and better able to remain focused on Him and His purposes for me. The light that He offers is a flame that, if we allow, will illuminate every dark place that we may find ourselves and will shine out and illuminate the world around us as well. In order for that to happen it means surrendering to He who is greater rather than submitting to our self.
Because of my personal, daily struggles with depression I don't know that I would say that it's surrender to emotions as much as it's a submission to self. Emotions are indicators of something. In the case of depression, for me, my emotions are a reaction to an inward focus on myself and my circumstances. I feel most free of my depression when I am focused on God and on others. I can be saddened by the plight of the oppressed but it doesn't become depression until I turn that focus to myself and make it about me and what I see as my inability to make a difference. Depression caused by anxiety may be a little different. In that case it may be an inability to surrender control which probably falls back into the case of submitting to the self. This isn't the case for everybody but I think that by and large it's a matter of being consumed with the self. Our fallen nature tends to lead us to be self focused.
Depression is a response that we might have to our emotions. God actually says quite a bit about emotions. You can ready a terrific article by Kenneth Ebert http://providencebf.blogspot.com/2008/11/developing-biblical-view-of-emotions.html My pastor as been speaking on the slaying the giants that we face in our lives; depression is certainly a giant that many of us face. It’s a daily struggle with getting caught up in our own feelings of insignificance, purposelessness, brokenness, inferiority, and emptiness among other things. It can also be anxiety related to finances, relationships (or there lack of), work (or there lack of), and any number of other challenges that we may make larger in our minds than they actually are.
More often the way we view these things is irrational. It’s the old story of “chicken little” who, while eating lunch, is knocked on the head by an acorn which leads the chicken to believe the sky is falling. The chicken sets off to tell the king of the impending doom and, on the journey, the chicken recruits other animals to join in on the journey of warning. So often, we who struggle with depression, do something similar in our minds. We see the worst case scenario and set off to convince our self that the world is coming to an end. The more we walk down that path the doom gets larger and larger. We talk our self into believing that the, perceived, problem is beyond hope. We feed our broken natures desire to focus on our self; to make us the center of the universe. As long as we focus on our self the bigger the giant becomes.
So how do we keep from getting dragged down that road? How do we recognize those burdens as a challenge but not allow it to consume us? I believe a change in focus must occur. Our eyes need to turn from our self and the things that burden us to something greater. For me, that which is greater is the creator God who formed me and created the universe and is in complete control at all times. The God who came to the earth, in human form, and told us “Come to me, you who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28. He will give us rest from those irrational and self destructive thoughts if we are willing to surrender to Him and accept the peace that He gives freely; “the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” Philippians 4:7. That verse, alone, is a source of great peace. It’s a comfort to know that by lifting up, through prayer, our anxieties and sorrows to God, He will replace those things that consume us with the peace of God and will protect us from the mess that our hearts and minds can make for us.
Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14 “Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” I too say the same. I’ve not got it all together. I struggle daily with those things that consume me. I get wrapped up in the things from the past and the furture and by doing so I squelch the flame within me that is to shine His glory. As difficult as it is I do press on toward the goal and I surrender those past hurts and failings to Him. I submit my life to Him as an offering and surrender my future to His control. He is bringing me to a place, daily, where I am more free of those things that bind me and better able to remain focused on Him and His purposes for me. The light that He offers is a flame that, if we allow, will illuminate every dark place that we may find ourselves and will shine out and illuminate the world around us as well. In order for that to happen it means surrendering to He who is greater rather than submitting to our self.
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